What the...? No Way!

Ok, so I guess I'm destined to be the poster child for getting your routine pelvic exam done. See, I hate those exams. I hate them with every fiber of my being. So, because I hate them, I don't have them regularly. Well, that has some back to bite me square in the ass. Because I have cancer.

It all started out with some abnormal vaginal bleeding. Not a lot, just a little, and nothing to really get bent out of shape about. I figured, "Ah, it'll go away." But it didn't, so after a couple of months I saw my PC doc. After giving me her "glare of destruction" over the top of her glasses for #1, waiting 5 years to get a PAP and #2, waiting 2 months to come and see her, she slapped my ass on the exam table and proceded to perform an endometrial biopsy. The results came back as "severe atypical hyperplasia", with a couple of questionable spots. Well, there was no mention of the word "carcinoma" in there anywhere, so it wasn't any big deal to me when I had to wait 3 1/2 months to see the OB/GYN doc.

So, the appointment rolled around and I was in the GYN doc's office and she was making noises about how those biopsy results were "worrisome". She said she recommended a hystorectomy, but wanted to do a D&C first to see if there were any cancer cells present. If so, that would probably change the nature of the surgery. Anyway, she asked me how long it had been since I had a pelvic and I got another "glare of distruction" when I told her. You know, in my defence I must reiterate that I hate those exams!!!

Well, before you could say "slap my ass and call me Sally", I was right back in the effin' stirrups. Only this time, when she was doing the exam, there was a good-sized lesion (closer to a tumor) on my cervix. So she said we were scratching the D&C and that she was going to biopsy that growth instead...the growth that wasn't there when I made the appointment 3 1/2 months prior. DOH!

One thing I did appreciate was the fact that she was very straightforward. She told me flat out that it didn't look good, but she didn't want to say for certain that what she saw was cancer until the biopsy results came back.  Well, they came back yesterday.

ADENOCARCINOMA!

So, now I have to go for some CAT scans to see if the mass is just in the uterus & cervix, or if it decided to spread it's little cancer wings and ensconce itself anywhere else.

Talk about sucking like an F5 on the Fujita scale.