Raise Your Hand If You Hate Migraines!!

Friday I had one of the worst migraines in quite a while. I needed to get a shot, but I couldn't find anyone to take me to to Doc, so I had to beg for a couple of lortab from a friend of mine. Then I started throwing up. And my head felt like it was caving in. Who knew you could shoot french toast out your nose?

Bring On The Colorful Scarves!!

I saw the oncology surgeon on 12/1. I really liked her. Some of that had to do with the fact that she reminds me of a friend I went to high school with (props to DUVA!!). Most of it, however, had to do with the fact that she has a great sense of humor and...well..."went there" with me! You gotta love that!

The other thing that I love is that she actually spent time listening to my questions...what few I had left. I had a bunch written down, ya know? And she answered every single one of them without me having to open up my notebook! Ok...I admit that I had one left, and the reason I even asked it was because she told me to look at my questions to make sure that I had asked, or she had answered, everything I needed to know. This doc ROCKS!!!! And, can I say that she did a fellowship in breast oncology at Memorial Sloan Kettering? I know I'm in good hands here and I feel so much better.

Speaking of "better", I noticed that ever since the 24th, when Dr. Macedo (she also ROCKS, by the way) told me about my cancerous state of being, I was more emotional than usual. Now, don't be all rollin' your eyes and stuff and saying "Well no shit, Sherlock!". I am not an emotional person. Ok, animals and children make me emotional...but stuff about me? Not so much. I'm what you call a "stuffer". I not only stuff, but I compartmentalize. It's easier that way.

Anyways, because I'm a "stuffer", I had many instances when I would just find myself  with tears rolling down my cheeks for no apparent reason that I could discern. My bafflement was complete. I mean, for instance I would...literally...sit there and think, "Jesus Christ on rollerskates!! This is a a freakin' PANTY LINER COMMERCIAL!!! Why are you CRYING??!!!"  It was horrible.

It lasted right up until I saw who I shall now refer to as, "My Dr. Flynn". I think after I saw her, I felt that I was moving forward and actually doing something. Although we can't complete my treatment plan until the genetic testing results come back, at least we're planning to have a plan. And I think that sense of control I felt then make me feel a hundred times better.

So, I mentioned eariIer that My Dr. Flynn (besides reminding me of Duva), has a great sense of humor. She actually went there with me when we discussed "mashing" versus "examining". She swore that she wasn't going to "mash" me, only that she was going to "examine" me. And  I  told her that one woman's "examine" was another woman's "mash". . She laughed and said "What am I going to do with you?".

*sigh*...but I digress on the magnitute of hugeness. So...My Dr. Flynn gave me as much information as she could. At the moment, the cancer in my lymph node is classified as "occult", meaning, "Where the hell did it come from?".  Also, because I am the 4th generation of women in my family to have breast cancer, I am being tested for the BRCA1 & BRAC2 genetic mutation. If I am positive for either, I will lose one if not both of my breasts. Women who have the mutation get breast cancer at a rate of 60%, which is 45%-50% above women who do not have genetic or familial type breast cancer. Women with that genetic mutation without mastectomy will see a reoccurance of breast cancer up to 72% of the time, and this includes women who do NOT have bilateral mastectomies.

The test results will come back in about 3 weeks. The 3 weeks I will have waited won't make a difference treatment-wise. Because the cancer has moved into the lymph nodes, I will be having chemo. The key is the test results. If it comes back positive, I will definitely be getting a bi-lateral mastectomy. If not? Well, if not, we'll discuss my familial history and I will make the final decision there.

I don't want to lose one breast, let alone two. But I'll do it to save my life.

Oh, and I need to know where I can get some cool, colorful scarves. Because when I do my chemo and lose my hair? I will NOT DO WIGS!!!