The Breast Center has a rule. No one gets their results unless they have someone with them. I like that rule. It makes sense. My friend Debi was with me when Dr. Macedo came in the room with the films. I'm glad she was there. Because I sure as hell didn't expect to hear that I had cancer. Again. The area with the calcifications looked like a ductal carcinoma in situ. Not so bad. The lymph node "appears to be metastatic". Bad. Bad, especially since nothing on the xrays or ultrasound shows where it came from. The lab still needed to do more testing to see if the cancers are receptor positive. They appear to be 2 different types of cancer and are not related to the cervical cancer I had back in September. What the fuck? I mean really. What the FUCK?!
So, in all honesty, my external freak-out lasted about 2 minutes. Once it was over, I discovered that I had a ball of anxiety mixed with nausea in the pit of my stomach. It is still there even as I type. I don't have time for this shit. I really, REALLY don't have time. I don't have time for surgery. I don't have time for radiation. I don't have time for any of this crap.
I'm not even thinking about whether or not I'm gonna die from this. I'm thinking about the fact that I got laid off Sep 18th, had a hysterectomy on Sep 29th, was released to go back to work on Nov 9th, haven't yet found employment, and now THIS! FUCK! FuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment
If you flame, you shall be deleted.